


the three stages of coping

by sarayin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Irondad & Spiderson, Other, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-27 19:45:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15031910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarayin/pseuds/sarayin
Summary: Peter had always had a somewhat delayed reaction to things, he supposes. Not in cases like when a bus was flying towards him or someone is charging at him at full speed. In those cases, his spidey senses came in handy and alerted him crucial seconds before it happened, in many cases saving his life. But with things like Uncle Ben dying or learning about his parents… it had taken him a long while to even comprehend what happened.ORpeter trying to deal with the aftermath of the fight with toomes with the help of his Actual Dad ironman.





	1. Chapter 1

Peter had always had a somewhat delayed reaction to things, he supposes. Not in cases like when a bus was flying towards him or someone is charging at him at full speed. In those cases, his spidey senses came in handy and alerted him crucial seconds before it happened, in many cases saving his life. But with things like Uncle Ben dying or learning about his parents… it had taken him a long while, spidey senses or not, to just accept it.  
The first stage is the thing happening, like when Peter crouched down beside his Uncle whose face was covered in sweat and a pained smile. Peter’s hands were shaking, his eyebrows crossed together. In the first stage, everything sounded like Peter was underwater. Everything, from the police sirens, to the health professionals tugging at Peter’s arms to the distant sound of Uncle Ben’s last words…  
“Don’t cry, Peter. Don’t be afraid.”  
Everything was slow and dragged and blurred, confusing. The second stage on the other hand was one of complete radio silence. This stage had people of all sorts trying to talk to him, to comfort and console him, from Aunt May to the ridiculously expensive therapist May had forced he should try and talk to, but Peter couldn’t hear them. He couldn’t hear anyone, not even himself. It must seem a little creepy to others, how Peter was suddenly okay all of a sudden, going by his monogamous life like nothing had happened. Like the seat on the dinner table was just seat, not Uncle Ben’s seat where he read the newspaper every morning or told Peter about his day… just another seat in the house. The second stage was emptiness, of mind, body and soul. But it was still alright, still better than the third stage that came without warning.  
The realisation of what had happened. He didn’t know when it was going to happen but one normal day Peter would enter his home after a long day at school and his subway ride and he would walk into the living room to grab a snack before doing his homework and there, he would catch a glance of a red covered book sitting on the bookshelf. 1984 by George Orwell. Ben’s book. The book he had never got the chance to finish.  
Peter remembers how Ben would sit on his sofa engrossed in his book after dinner while May and him watched movies. He remembers how Peter would have to take his book out of his hands and said goodnight to him, how Ben walked him to his room and switched off the lights, how on some bad nights he would read to Peter as he drifted to sleep. In stage three, Peter remembers and realizes. It’s not just a book, its Ben’s book.  
Stage three finds Peter locked in his room battling with his own mind to take a breath, but he can’t. Not as pictures of that night flash in his head, how Ben had laid on the ground and Peter crouched above him, how this was a total flip in the natural order of things when Peter laid in bed and Ben tucked him in. When Aunt May arrives and knocks on Peter’s door, Peter looks at his shaking hands and swallows air. He can’t be weak in front of her, ever, he vows to himself. He cannot be weak anymore and ignore the changes in his body after that spider bite. That is when Spiderman had been born.  
While things changed power-wise, like Peter being able to control his senses better and working on his speed and agility, Peter was still the same person, the same kid.


	2. are you okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after the fight with toomes, peter has a hard time being in touch with reality. a trip to the stark compound brings him back to the ground... for the worse.

It had been four days since Peter had fought the Vulture and three days since Mr. Stark had called him to his compound and offered him a position as an Avenger which he refused, surprising them and most of all, himself. In those four days, Peter had slept for a total of 8 hours and 43 minutes.  
At school, Peter stared straight ahead at the whiteboard where period after period, teacher after teacher wrote things that Peter could not comprehend. It took Ned an average of 3 times of saying Peter’s name before Peter responded and looked into Ned’s concerned eyes and offered and unconvincing smile his way. Peter opted to walk the long way home and ditched the subway and even the alternative of swinging from building to building, something which had given him the most exhilarating rush. But, not today.  
That’s what Peter thought, that this feeling, whatever it was, was just a one-off. Surely, it would go away tomorrow. As Peter looked at the city bustling away beneath him as he sat on top of a high rise, Peter didn’t have hope that things would get better, nor did he have a sinking feeling that everything would take a turn for the worse. He didn’t feel anything, to be honest. Normally, he would be overthinking his decision with regards to Mr. Stark’s offer, or swinging across the city looking for crime, or searching the dumpsters for some new gadgets he could tinker with. But, Peter couldn’t find it in himself to do anything but stare at the traffic moving below him.  
He was ready to swing, ready to stop a bank robbery or save someone from a mugging. He was ready. Then why couldn’t he just jump? He was in his suit, the one Mr. Stark had returned to him. But it wasn’t the same suit as earlier, it had been repaired and when Peter stroked the soft fabric he could barely feel the places where it had torn apart or been burnt during the fight with the Vulture. Peter had actively avoided the mirror ever since that fight, unable to even catch a glance of the bruises that Toomes had left behind. He couldn’t look at himself, he couldn’t do anything-  
Peter’s stare-down with the street below was interrupted with his phone buzzing with a message. He took it out of the backpack and couldn’t even muster the feeling of surprise and excitement when he saw that the message was from Mr. Stark himself.  
Swing by the lab tomorrow. You need new web shooters. Happy will pick you up after school.  
Peter thought it was characteristic of Mr. Stark to not even have a question mark somewhere in the message. It wasn’t a request, it was a command. This was better, Peter thought, seeing as he could barely process the things happening around him. Peter mindlessly texted back a confirmation, not that Mr. Stark needed any.  
The next day was the same as ever. Aunt May told him an anecdote about her the lady she met at the grocery store, oblivious to Peter being spaced out for most of it. At school, Ned went on about a movie he watched the other day, trying to keep up the conversation despite the lack of Peter’s participation. Before Peter knew it, the last bell had rung and he was out of the building, bidding a short goodbye to Ned before slipping into the car quietly.  
“Hey kid,” Happy chirped.  
That was new. Usually, Peter started off with an excited “Hey Happy!”, not even waiting for a response before launching into some story about school.  
“Hey Happy,” Peter said much more solemnly.  
Happy detected the change in tone but decided against commenting on it and drove on.  
“You know,” he started again, “I just… I just wanna thank you again kid, what you did was, it saved a lotta people who would’ve been hurt from those weapons those guys would’ve built.”  
Peter had barely changed his expression from a blank face in the last few days but managed to muster a small smile for the grateful man. “Just did what anyone would have.”  
“Not just anyone,” Happy declared and Peter didn’t bother to reply. Happy crossed his eyebrows together at this uncharacteristic behavior.  
“You doing okay?” Happy couldn’t help but ask.  
A trigger clicked in Peter’s head. It was the first time someone was actually addressing him since the fight. Sure, Ned had asked if he was fine but he had done so in the small gap between classes, while rushing from Physics to Math. How could Peter say anything that could explain how he was doing in the two minutes from one hallway to another? Where would he even begin? So Peter stuck with an “Ofcourse” after which the topic immediately shifted to Ned’s progress on his new LEGO set. Peter thought maybe Ned was relieved by his answer, relieved that he didn’t have to prod further and listen to Peter’s confused rambles. But here, this was different. They had at least twenty minutes till they reached the compound and Happy was looking right at Peter through the rear view mirror, unlike Ned who was walking next to Peter giving Peter enough space to mask any emotion that escaped.  
“Kid?” Happy prodded again.  
The question caused Peter’s heartbeat to spike, causing him to take a shuddering breath. Happy looked concerned, just as May had when Peter had come out of the room after getting triggered by a mere book. So Peter repeated what he had done on that night with May and every day after that. He looked down and squeezed his eyes shut before looking up again, now transformed, as if a mask has been put on his face.  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Didn’t get much sleep last night, had an algebra test,” Peter replied hastily.  
Happy didn’t believe him fully but the excuse seemed reasonable enough. “Why don’t you catch a little snooze back there, the traffic is miserable. Gonna take at least half an hour to reach.”  
Peter mentally sighed as he nodded and leaned against the cool glass window, relieved that he didn’t have to talk to the older man.  
Time passed by in a blur and before the car came to a halt. Peter didn’t seem to comprehend this though as he continued to stare outside the window. Happy noticed this and simply cleared his throat, causing Peter to jerk awake from his spacing out and scramble out of the car, mumbling a small apology. Happy shook his head. Yeah, he thought, something definitely isn’t right.  
The driver made his way into the compound, Peter in tow, and further into the lab where Tony was. He had been squinting and tinkering with the faceplate of his suit when the two entered. While it had taken Happy a conversation with Peter to know that something was off, it took Tony just a look at the kid that he had some fixing to do.  
Peter, who would normally come in running, hell, skipping into the lab, had his head bent down as he kept his eyes on the floor. His hands bunched up the shoulder straps of his backpack and his mind wandered somewhere far away from the lab. He wasn’t over thinking, no. The fact was that Peter wasn’t thinking at all, he couldn’t tell the difference if he was in Tony’s lab or Ned’s house or the school. Tony took note of the boy’s actions and quietly told Happy to excuse them. He took cautious steps towards the kid and called, “Hey kid.”  
This somehow miraculously registered in Peter’s brain as he looked up to see his mentor for the first time since he entered the lab. Peter was just about to shake off the disorientation and greet him back but Mr. Stark’s next words shook him to his core.  
“You doing okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! this is my first ever fic here, all feedback is appreciated!!  
> also, i know the chapters are very small, hopefully i'll get better with that in the future.  
> (also this is my way of coping with the shitstorm that was iw. i'm still stuck in the homecoming universe, thank you very much.)


	3. i'll make it up to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "are you okay?" mr. stark asked  
> and something in peter broke.

Mr. Stark was looking right at him. He had asked him a question. Peter knew rationally that he should answer him, that he should quickly mumble out a “yes I’m totally fine” before his mentor could ask any more questions. But instead, Peter was frozen. He could not move from the place where he stood, his hands that had bunched up the shoulder straps of his backpack had lost all feeling.  
Rationally, he knew it was Mr. Stark who was standing in front of him, not Uncle Ben the night before Peter found him on the pavement. His friendly face standing next to the door of Peter’s bedroom as Peter sat on his desk going over his notes for the next day’s exam.  
“You doing okay, buddy?” Ben had asked and Peter had nodded, not looking up from his book. Ben chuckled and ruffled Peter’s hair, going to sleep but not before telling Peter not to stay up too late and that he was going to nail that test anyway.  
The same words echoed in his head.  
_“You doing okay?”_  
Peter’s legs felt like they were made of lead as the familiar feeling of being trapped took over. This is what it felt like when he had had massive blocks of cement fall on him with no warning. His shoulders had taken most of the impact and had hurt like hell. But the building falling wasn’t as terrifying to Peter as what had followed it and that was a complete loss of feeling in all his body. He was alone and he couldn’t move. _He was alone and he couldn’t move…_  
Tony noticed as Peter suddenly tensed up after he asked his question and raised an eyebrow. “Kid?” he tried again but with no success. Peter’s eyes had a distant look in them, like he was somewhere far away from this lab. Tony looked him over, confused as to what to do before he noticed the kid’s hands. They were trembling and had almost turned white with the force with which he squeezed the straps of his backpack. His nails dug into his palms with enough force to draw blood and this alarmed Tony.  
“Hey, hey, hey, stop that,” Tony directed as he tried to uncurl the kid’s hands from cutting open.  
Peter was still trapped under the building in his mind. No one is coming for him. This is how it’s gonna end. Will anyone ever find him? _Aunt May._ Aunt May would be so disappointed. She will hate me. I’m alone and I can’t move. I’m alone and it hurts.  
_Mr. Stark._  
Peter gasped and felt his throat closing up and restricting his breathing.  
_I will never get to make it up to Mr. Stark._  
Peter stumbled backwards and Tony launched forward to steady the kid.  
“Whoa, whoa, easy there,” Tony called out, trying to keep calm in this confusing situation. The kid seemed to be going through some kind of flashback-y episode and Tony had no idea how to make Peter snap out of it.  
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Peter continued mumbling as he thought of his ill fate. He never got to apologize. He never got to be forgiven.  
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark. I’m sorry,” Peter whispered through the tears that had started falling. The pain in Peter’s voice made Tony’s heart hurt with sadness and anger. Why was the kid apologizing? More than that he was frustrated with how bad he was at helping Peter through this.  
Suddenly motivated to get Peter out of his trance, Tony tightened his grip on the young boy’s shoulder to ground him.  
“Peter, hey, listen to me. You’re at the Stark compound,” Tony started.  
“I’m so sorry,” Peter continued to whisper his apologies as his cries worsened and his face contorted into sobs. Tony’s eyes softened with how young the boy looked.  
“Hey, listen to me, look at me,” Tony demanded and Peter’s eyes seemed to focus a little on him, still with a distant look in them, “You have nothing to apologize for.”  
This seemed to make matters worse as Peter choked on a sob and panted, unable to breathe normally.  
Peter looked down and shook his head, “I failed you, I failed,” he mumbled.  
“No, you did not!” Tony stated but it didn’t seem to have any effect on the boy. Alright, thought Tony, he’s going to have to try something different. It is obvious that the kid thinks he did something wrong and that Tony is mad at him for it, and trying to convince him otherwise is not working at all.  
“Hey kid, look at me,” Tony started again in a soft but strong tone.  
“I forgive you.”  
Peter’s head suddenly snapped up in shock and confusion. He was still breathing unsteadily in short pants and this concerned Tony so he continued.  
“I forgive you, I’m not mad at you at all,” Tony tried again and for the first time Peter seemed to acknowledge where he was and Tony’s presence. I forgive you. Mr. Stark forgives him. He’s not alone. He is not trapped. He’s not under a building.  
Peter now seemed to notice Tony’s hands strongly gripping his shoulders and welcomed the support to lean on. Tony was surprised at the sudden weight against his arms, causing Peter to lean against Tony’s chest as Tony adjusted his arms around the shaking form of the young boy.  
Peter’s forehead rested against Tony’s arc reactor and Tony could feel the boy’s breaths through the thin fabric of his sweater. Tony had his arms loosely wrapped around the kid and his head on top of the kid’s mess of hair as he continued whispering to the boy.  
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just breathe, kid.”  
And Peter did breathe. Shakily at first but within some time, he was breathing somewhat normally. In the space of these few minutes, Peter had wrapped his arms around his mentor and had also freely cried on Tony’s undoubtedly expensive soft sweater.  
Tony noticed the change in breathing and slowly unwrapped his arms and stepped backward not before checking that the kid was capable to stand on his own. When Peter swayed a little, Tony stepped forward again with an, “Okay, we’re moving to the couch,” before guiding the kid by his shoulders and seating him.  
It seemed like all the past few days’ exhaustion was hitting Peter right at this moment as he rested his head on the back of the couch and almost drifted asleep. His throat hurt, so did his head and most of his body.  
“Hurts,” Peter mumbled sleepily.  
This alarmed Tony as he sat down next to the kid, “What hurts Peter?”  
“Everything,” he replied.  
This kid is gonna be the death of me, Tony thought.  
Out of instinct, Tony bent forward and pressed a hand to the kid’s forehead and just as he had thought, he was burning up.  
“Okay, kid, I’m gonna call the med bay, okay?” Tony asked but received no reply. The kid had curled up and had drifted off to sleep. Tony sighed as he grabbed the throw blanket and laid it on top of the young boy before calling the med bay for a team of doctors to be sent as well as Happy to get the kid’s favorite Thai food for when he wakes up.  
Within the few minutes that it takes for the doctors to arrive, Tony brushes the hair out of the kid’s face. Kid, he’s just a kid, Tony thought as he looked at Peter looking way younger for his age as he slept.  
And in those few moments, Tony decided, _I’ll look out for you kid. I’ll make it up to you, no matter what it takes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	4. i've got you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter wakes up.

“So, what’s the word doc?” Tony asked, trying to keep his anxious thoughts at bay. The kid had entered the lab, freaked and then passed out in Tony’s arms. This had been an eventful day alright.   
“Well, physically,” the doctor started in a clipped tone, “he is more or less fine. There was a long gash on his abdomen on the verge of an infection but we’ve wrapped it up and with his advanced healing, that will not be a problem in a few hours. But…”   
“But what?” Tony asked, annoyed. He just wanted the doctor to give it to him straight.   
“But,” the doctor continued, “We were confused as to why the gash hadn’t healed on its own. Not to mention why he had lost consciousness in the first place. We did a few tests and narrowed it down to extreme sleep deprivation and not enough nutrition.” The doctor, an older lady with a kind face looked at Tony with sympathy.   
“So…” Tony trailed off.  
“So, the boy hasn’t been eating or sleeping. With a metabolism as fast as him, this causes him even more damage and his healing or other powers don’t work as efficiently.”   
Tony looked at the ground and took a deep breath. He should’ve known something like this might happen. Teenagers don’t walk away from a fight with a giant metal bird man without a scratch.   
The doctor looked at the man and continued in a gentle voice, “He’ll be better in no time Mr. Stark. He just needs some taking care of.”  
He looked up at the doctor and gave her a small smile, “You got it, doc. Thanks.”   
She smiled and made her way to the med bay with her small team just as Tony turned to look at the kid who was still sleeping.   
He sighed and seated himself in the chair kept next to his bed. It took another hour or so before Peter woke up, more like shot up in bed with a gasp. His eyes were wide and his hands had already started trembling before Tony came into sight.   
“M-Mr. Stark?” Peter questioned, confused, in between his short and heavy breaths.  
“Ya buddy, its me,” Tony started in a soothing voice, “It’s okay, you’re at the compound, you’re-”  
“May?” Peter’s eyes widened in fear. If she didn’t know, she would freak out and then-  
“She knows you’re here too. Happy called her.” Tony clarified.   
Peter’s shoulders seemed to relax a bit as he heard that and Tony took that as a good sign. He took this chance to get the boy to drink some water. Tony sat on the side of the bed and looked at Peter. _Really_ looked at him. He could see the bags under his eyes and the overall exhaustion on his face.   
Peter just looked down at his hands, unable to meet his mentor’s eyes.  
“What _happened_ kid?” Tony finally asked, deciding against beating around the bush any longer.   
“Mr. Stark, I,” Peter started, head still bent down, “I’m really sorry for freaking out on you and being such an inconvenience and-”  
“No, no, no,” Tony exclaimed, voice rising with every no. “Let me stop you right there, _Peter Thomas Parker_.”   
Yep, Tony thought, I’m pulling the full name card.   
“That’s not my middle name,” Peter finally looked up, confused.   
Oh.   
“Kid, what did I tell you about the adult talking?”   
Peter nodded and mumbled a soft, “Sorry.”   
This just frustrated Tony more. God, what can he do to make this kind understand?!  
“You remember what I told you about breaking the cycle? From my father? Tony started, hopeful.  
Peter looked up at Mr. Stark’s face and nodded.   
“My old man, he wasn’t the best at this whole… talking business. Made me feel pretty shit at times, to be honest. Made me feel like I’d give anything for someone to listen. But I didn’t.. I didn’t have anyone and well, you see how that turned out to be,” Tony shook his head with a bitter laugh.   
Peter crossed his eyebrows, what Mr. Stark was saying about himself wasn’t right and he wasn’t going to listen to it. “Mr. Stark-” Peter started but was cut off by his mentor.   
“You’re not an inconvenience, Peter,” Tony said in a soft but strong voice. The statement made Peter’s heart jump.   
“You’re not a burden, a nuisance and you don’t have to keep apologizing. What happened today… it had something to do with the Vulture, I’m guessing?”   
Peter swallowed and simply nodded.   
“I want you to tell me about these things, kid. I can help you. I _want_ to help you.”  
Something inside Peter broke hearing this. A dam of sorts that had been keeping all of Peter’s emotions and fears at bay had broken to let them now flow freely. With this, came a stream of tears that Peter couldn’t stop now matter how much his mind screamed at him, “You’re in front of Mr. Stark, get it together!”  
But he couldn’t any longer. He was too tired of it.  
Tony’s face softened as he noticed the tears tumbling down the kid’s face. Without a word, Tony turned sideways and pulled the kid into a hug. Peter willingly wrapped his arms around the olderman and let the sobs out.   
“I-I was so scared,” Peter stuttered out.   
“Yeah, I know buddy, it’s okay. You’re okay now,” Tony mumbled into the kid’s hair as he rubbed circles on his back.   
“H-He dropped a building on me,” Peter stated and Tony’s blood ran cold as he pulled back to see the kid’s face.  
“What?” Tony asked, not believing what the kid had just said.   
“He.. He dropped a building on me… and I was trapped. And alone. And I was going to die and Aunt May wouldn’t know and I would never make it up to you for the ferry an-and,” Peter said shakily before the sobs made him stop and take a breath.  
God, thought Tony. The guilt of taking the kid’s suit away hit him full force. If he had the suit, Karen would’ve alerted Tony and the kid… he didn’t have to be trapped under a fucking building. Alone.   
“Listen to me, hey, Peter, listen,” Tony called the young boy’s attention to him. He put his hands on the either side of Peter’s face and tilted his face up, “You’ve made up for the ferry incident ten times over by now.”  
Peter just cried harder in response.  
“You’re not alone kid, you will never be alone again in a situation like that so God help me. I’ll never let you be alone again kid, you have my word,” Tony stated, clearly enunciating each word.   
A sense of safety overwhelmed Peter. He was here, he was safe. Mr. Stark is here. He’ll always be here.   
Peter launched forward and hugged his mentor, burying his face in his neck. Tony held him with one arm and used the other one to gently stroke the kid’s hair.   
“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” Peter whispered softly against Tony’s neck.   
Tony bit his lip and tried to keep his own tears at bay as he nodded with a newfound determination.   
“I got you, kid. I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats a wrap on my first fic! hope you enjoyed.  
> i've started a longer fic too so if you're interested, you could check it out!  
> thanks for reading :)  
> and as always, all feedback is welcome and appreciated!


End file.
